Rice for dinner
2009-10-12 - 12:25 a.m.

I've been rather lonely lately.
That yearning kind of lonely.

I was thinking today about the differences if I was back in a dorm at Western. Mainly the negatives. No shelves, no in-room-already micro-fridge, no pressing room. No Trident.
I don't really even WANT to be in a dorm anymore, but at the same time I do. I'm scared of being able to pay rent, even with the financial aid, and I would have no furniture.

So much uncertainty. So much of me being afraid to make a decision and dealing with the outcome.

But like I said, now that WMU is back in the picture, I just keep seeing myself back there. I guess a lot of it is because it's already familiar to me, and starting all over at another new place is frightening.

But there could also be so many ghosts of what was.

Amalia suggested I sing "On The Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady, which I don't know, and watching a clip of the movie, I'm not sure. Though now I want to watch the movie in full, because I've never seen it.

I don't even know what's going to happen with me and Colin when December hits and I'm no longer in Illinois. Even if we decide to try to stick it out, I'm not sure that I'll be able to.
And then my relocating...I guess it's just best to not think about that all now.

Deciding to NOT go to the dentist was a good thing, because I'm finding myself needing money for groceries and things, and my birthday surplus was less than I'd hoped. I think there are still family members who still 'owe' me, but maybe they've just figured I've reached the age point where they don't feel obligated to anymore. Or they just simply can't.

Honestly, I'm really excited for "New Moon" to come out. It kind of HAS to be better than "Twilight", and the trailer looks really cool, especially the shot with Bella under water. Even though there'll be more Jacob than Edward, the villains are so much cooler (and probably better acted).

All right, I'm done rambling for the night.
I really need to get off-book.

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