If only
2009-09-05 - 12:38 a.m.

Sometimes I imagine myself getting injured and having to go home.

Kate said something today that I had already been thinking about, again.
I really wish I was in a musical program.
I know that I love to sing more than I love acting. Actually right now I'm not really even liking acting.

I'm having some pretty serious second-thoughts.

But again, what would I do?

Eric presented the idea of me transferring again the other day, and I have mixed thoughts about that.
The main one is that I would feel like I would be running away. And I could end up somewhere else in a worse program and just be even shittier.
And I would have to start ALL OVER. Again.

Fuck you, Western.

I feel so lost.

And I wonder what being in Kalamazoo on Sunday will do to me.

I fantasized for a blip of a second about getting into UofM. Ha.

I wonder what would've happened if I actually knew anything about colleges during my senior year? If I would've gone to other places to audition.

I really just don't know what to do.

But more and more I don't want to be here.

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