panic starting
2009-08-12 - 12:39 a.m.

I've been at Colin's since Friday, and sick since then. At least it got me out of work on Saturday (I threw up on Friday), but my nose has been so runny this entire time, and my head hasn't been feeling too great either.
It doesn't even feel like I've been here for very long, but I think that's mostly because I haven't really done anything.

I've pretty much just been in Colin's room watching the last 2 seasons of Angel. Season 5 was really good for a last season, and also really sad (Cordy, Fred, Wes). Moments with Wes and Fred had me crying, but I should've expected that, because Joss Whedon likes to give you love and then rip it away from you.

I'll be back down here, in DeKalb, next Wednesday night. My mom wants to move me in on Thursday morning, but I wasn't planning on being down there til Friday.
Which adds to my freak out, which is definitely growing.

I didn't read any books like Gately wanted, mainly because I forgot until a few weeks ago when I was looking through my notebook. I can probably get at least one in, maybe two, after I get to school and am able to go to the library.
I could probably get one read while I'm at home, but I'd have to get a library card and stuff, and I'm not really sure what that entails.
It of course doesn't help that she gave us the name of only one book, and then just named off a giant list of actors for us to read books on. Hell, I might just go out and buy the one book, but I don't really want to BUY it when it's unlikely I'll ever pick it up again.

And now I'm making excuses.

I'm so lazy. I really am. And I think it actually comes out of fear (lol Donnie Darko). I fear my actions will produce negative outcome, so I choose not to act, but then there is no outcome at all.
Hm.

Although with this book situation, my inaction CAN cause a negative outcome, but I'm not sure it will. I mean, Gately might not even remember that she even assigned this. That's what I'm hoping for, but then it's likely there will be SOMEONE in our class to remind her. But then if that happens, she might not even spend more than two minutes breezing over it, and then move on.

Best NOT to worry over it anymore, and just do what I can in the meantime(hah).

I'll be going home tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to the drive at all.

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