Happy Birthday
2009-08-05 - 1:24 a.m.

We always seem to be watching something about death on the night of your birthday.
It's kind of quixotic. I just realized I have no idea what that word actually means, but it sounded appropriate.
Now that I just looked it up, it's not the right word at all, but I'm leaving it there anyway.

Anyway, I'm having a glass of wine in your honor. It's a merlot (I'm also hoping it'll help me sleep a bit).
I wonder if your stomach issues would have allowed you to drink?

I'm also wondering what Jeff is feeling today, and if maybe he'll want to talk to me for a brief minute.

I like having my memory I hold of you be happy, rather than grieving over it so much.

...I also might have some ice cream, you know, for you. The box says "homemade vanilla", though right now I'd much rather have chocolate.
There are a bunch of candles lit in my room, too, one that I specifically designated to be your candle.

I'm not sure what else to say right now.

I did cry a tiny bit, but it was more a happy remembering cry than a really sad one.

So yeah.

Happy would-be 21st birthday, Ian.
Loves youuuuuuuu.
♥

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