Easy as Effy
2009-06-03 - 1:23 a.m.

I have absolutely no desire to go to Wisconsin, or on a road trip with the gays, ever again.
I have no idea why the hell any of them enjoy it out there (aside from Will, since it's his family's place). I guess because they're basically all city boys, and they can get wasted outside. Maybe that's a little harsh, but then it doesn't make it any less true.
I was miserable the entire time. I knew I was going to regret it the morning we were leaving. Knew it.
I don't even really know why I made the decision to go see Colin so suddenly.
To get out of the house, I suppose, but then I was just miserable in another state, instead of at home. And without internet. And nothing else to do but dwell on how shitty I felt.

And so many things went wrong yesterday, too. Grilled cheese dropped in the driveway, battery dead, fuse blown, money overdrawn...I really wonder if my family is cursed.

My changing my name will fix that for me. Which I plan on doing by the end of the summer. My last name, and if I can do it at the same time without extra cost, my middle. Both are associated with my father, and I've just had enough. Though I need to talk to Sara about it a bit, because I don't know what I'm going to have to do in regards to IDs and other filing on me and such.

I wish I could act like Effy does on Skins, and my family would just accept it. Effie rarely, if ever, talks, or even really responds to them, and they just understand. Whereas if I don't respond verbally, they think I'm either being rude or didn't hear them. None of them can seem to fathom that THAT'S JUST HOW I AM.
I wish I could make my mother understand that I basically don't feel any more alone than when I'm around the family.

...these entries lately are pretty much just rants.

I guess I'm feeling a bit like Harry in OotP these days.
Oh, and sidenote, it makes no sense that the 4th book is the Goblet Of Fire. That effing goblet is in there for like two seconds. The Tri-wizard Tournament is a much more suitable title.

...and now I'm distracted. Advent Children and ambien. Hooray.

I'll fill more ranting in tomorrow, I suppose. While I'm doing laundry.

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