I want another kitty
2009-05-04 - 5:17 p.m.

It'd probably be wise to start packing, since I leave tomorrow night.
Though really the only thing that actually takes TIME is my clothes. All the rest of my stuff can be packed in about 15 minutes.

I didn't get to sleep until about 5am. i was just AWAKE. Kyalex called around 4:30 because he was going into work, and we talked for a little bit, and then I put in X-2 and tried to fall asleep.

Even though I'll be done with school tomorrow, I'm staying with Colin for a week, and I'm starting to get a little freaked about it actually, just because my mind is like "school over; go home." And I guess I'm also a little worried about spending money that I don't have. And then there's the fact that I know Colin feels a lot more for me currently than I do for him.
That's not to say that I don't care for him deeply, but I know I'm not in love with him. I'm not yearning for him when he's gone. I don't feel much of a spark in me.
And the last thing I want is to hurt him.
I don't know. I just don't know.

I have so many conflicted feelings about so many things.

Oh, and I also still don't really know if I have a place to live for next year. I can't get ahold of the girl who owns the house, and apparently Andrea keeps reminding her, and I'm just like wtf I leave TOMORROW. I mean, technically I don't HAVE to see the place, but I would at least like to meet them and stuff, and...actually know where it is. I'm going to call her again tonight, and I really hope she picks up, or at least calls me back.

Oh, and I got a fake lip ring.

I actually wish I could just keep this room. Aside from not being allowed to burn candles or incense, I actually kind of like it. The wonder of not having a roommate.

Oh, I guess I should write this down, too. Last week I found a porn vid online, and I was sure for about an hour that the guy in the video was Ian. Same eyes, same eyebrows, same nose, same teeth, same facial structure...
Though after doing some search around, I figured out that is wasn't, and that was...comforting? I don't really know what it was. In a way, the thought of having a video of him was nice, though the whole porn thing kinda tainted that.
Yeah, it's a little fucked up.
Maybe he didn't die; he just went into porn.
lol.

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