Between Soulmates
2009-03-18 - 12:21 p.m.

9:34pm Riley
sigh
I'm so bent on finding "the one"
I wish I wasn't so love-driven

9:36pmDerek
you're like Morpheus

9:36pmRiley
Like, I started crying in class today
Because we did this exercise where we could only say "I love you"
And it was just...bad.

9:38pmDerek
yikes

9:38pmRiley
You know, first I thought God of Dreams, then Dream from Sandman, THEN about The Matrix

9:38pmDerek
haha
why do you think you are so driven by love? and what does that mean specifically? does it mean having someone that is able to fully accept your affection, or someone that freely gives you their affection? does it necessitate a physical side or can it be only emotional?

9:46pmRiley
I want that comfort of having someone, and belonging to someone. Having that safe place. To be loved. A soulmate. To have that support and freedom and passion and...I can't really think of what other words to use to describe it
You're my straight version of that, in a more brotherly way. For how much we're different, you're still my twin
And usually when I'm feeling really shitty, I almost feel like a little orphan kid, and you're the only one who I can run to, and who will beat up the kids that called me a faggot

9:57pmDerek
Very much agreed. And I'm really glad that I can be there for you regardless of the situation. What you're looking for is really hard to find, unfortunately. It takes a really specific type of person to trigger that sort of 'lock-and-key' feeling. I got unbelievably, uncharacteristically lucky to have found someone for whom I care so much and who cares for me. I feel like love is probably one of the hardest of all roads to walk with any sort of consistency - it's just too intense for the average person to deal with for any length of time. Everyone has to distract themselves with work and what have you, searching for love only parts of the time and really committing to it even less. You're on a hard road trying to search for it so ferociously, but it will happen. I guarantee you. Just never become gun shy, you know. Make sure you're staying true to yourself and that you really have a good idea of what it is that you're looking for.
If there's anything that I've gotten out of school and all this bullshit it's that sometimes you've got a better chance of finding what you want by wading through everything you don't want hoping to stumble on that which you do than by watching to see if something desired decides to rear its head. That's not exactly the right way to put that, but I think you'll get what I mean. I guess I just don't want to see you get hurt any more and the ungratious fucks who would do so don't deserve you anyway.
Just please be careful who you give your heart to. OK I've gotta get some sleep. Tired from traveling and my weekend with Sam. Take care. Love - D.

10:04pmRiley
love you too

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