And you'll be the healer
2008-11-22 - 9:13 p.m.

I wonder if I have expectations that are too high.

I'm constantly dissatisfied and disappointed with things.

I haven't heard anything about counseling. I talked with Deb, and she talked to a friend of hers at the center, and I gave her a call, but haven't received anything back.
Concerned.
Though right now more because they're the ones who'll be able to help me get a single.

Teching for Soldat has stolen my life a little, and we should be getting the same lab hours for it as the people who've done two-week shows. Completely unfair.
And I also just hate listening to Stanton narrate. He's fucked something up every night.
And every show I think 'Da would do so much better.'
The majority of our block does not like him at all.

I'm realizing I don't feel connected to anyone here. Not really.
Meaning if I did leave here, it wouldn't matter much to me.

There's very little light or happiness. And a lot of negativity, actually, without my addition.

And when I sit down and take the time to think about things, it's actually all worse.
Like now.

I cannot wait to go home. Though I'm really scared of driving. ...which has pretty much been the case for a year now. Afraid to drive my car.
It'd be nice to have a moment where I'm NOT afraid of something.

Boe naer gwannathach...

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