To see if you're still there
2008-09-15 - 12:07 a.m.

Hunger is so annoying.

I asked Matt if he wanted to go get food with me, but he'd already eaten when he got back into town. And then he didn't reply to the question I asked after that (we were talking on facebook chat).
And it actually made me feel a little rejected.
And I didn't type anything else after because then I felt stupid for being...actually active for once.
I was really hoping I might actually get to spend some time with him and get to know him better. Plus I was/am super bored. I think I also somewhat expected him to want to do something with me, so I guess I also feel a tinge of disappointment.

What a little physical affection can do.

I wanted to include this in my last entry, but I forgot about it.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I came to the realization a while ago.
Da said to me something like "You have trouble apologizing", and I thought No, I have trouble apologizing for something when I don't think I should have to.
And then that thought led me to realizing that I actually have difficulty saying "Thank you"/accepting compliments. I tend to either think I'm being flattered or that I'm not being sincere.
I think I prefer people just recognizing that I did whatever it was rather than praising it. Or something. Unless I really am proud of what I did, then by all means, compliment away.

I'm strange.

I feel like - wait. I keep saying "I feel like" in situations where things actually happened.
So.
I keep trying different skin products in hopes that they will - for once - actually help clear up my skin. And sometimes they do for a little while, but then it's almost like I become immune to them. And it fucking pisses me off.
I want something that actually WORKS, god damnit.
And I don't want to wear makeup. Or I don't want to feel like I have to.
There's this site called acne.org that was made by some random guy who had a ton of acne problems, and somehow HE came up with a "regimen", and has products for sale, and I want to try them.
What's cool about this site is that anyone can rate and review any acne product out there, including the regimen.
And I don't have the money to order it really, but I think I'm going to anyway.
EDIT: Nevermind, shipping is like $11. Fuck that shit.

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