And you fall into my arms
2008-08-01 - 7:40 p.m.

Have I been out of a state of longing in seven years?
I don't really think so.
Just reaching and reaching and trying to grasp SOMETHING. And if I ever get anything, it's always less than I'd hoped for.
All the chapters in my book are relatively the same, making it a pretty tedious read.

When it gets really bad, I can feel it in my arms, mainly around my wrists and my hands, and my chest. It's this...pulling sensation. You're really aware of your pulse and your heartbeat, and a little breathless.
And you can feel that way and have it be a happy thing, but that's rarely ever happened to me.

The closer it gets to me having to leave, the more fearful I am.

Demi has been become increasingly cuddly and clingy lately, and I'm not sure what brought this on. I certainly don't, and it's a really nice change from being a twitchy bitch (which she's been for about a year). Maybe she finally got used to the new animals, or she can tell that I'm going to be leaving.
Or both.

We decorated our bottles last night.
Sar's and Joe's look cute, and I don't really like the way mine looks.
I put a silhouette of Eros on it, which looks really good, and then did the other three Erotes, and I feel like they make it look cluttered, and none of them look as good as Eros.
Plus I gave Anteros feathery wings instead of butterfly wings, so that has to be redone anyway.
I really wanted to go into town and spend time with the group today, but I'm just so tired.

I wish I effing lived in town.
Today I considered what I would do if I won the lottery, aside from quitting my job, and I determined that I would by a house in town, or a really big apartment (but probably a house) that at least a few of us could live in.

I haven't eaten in hours, so I really need to make some food.

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