Open up my heart
2008-06-09 - 10:58 p.m.

When I'm indoors, my heels rarely touch the ground.
I know, that sounds totally metaphorical, right?
All of my life I've basically walked inside on relevé, and I think it's because I don't like to get my feet (even if wearing socks) dirty, and I don't like to make a lot of noise when I'm walking.
I'm sneaksy like a cat.
I think that might be one reason why I have bad posture, and why Nikki, my jazz dance teacher, would always tell me to lean back - I'm always sort of leaning forward because my heels aren't on the ground.

I was really depressed today. I guess I still am, actually.
I'm lonely.
Again, same story as always. It doesn't really change, aside from people and names.

Last night I went to Rose's to have dinner with her, Da, and her son Ian.
I didn't actually eat anything, aside from dessert, but it was nice just to be there.
Her house makes me feel just so...comfortable. And I've only been there a few times.
If it was closer, I'd probably be there a lot.
I didn't really want to go home, but I had to work in the morning.

I find myself not knowing what to do on nights that I don't have rehearsal.
I mean, I should find it good because then I'm not using gas, but I WANT to go to rehearsal. I considered going one night when I wasn't even called just because I wanted to watch.

I kind of want to start actually talking to Justin just to justify me already having a crush on him.
There're a lot of 'just's in that sentence. Hello alliteration.
But I mean, realistically, he's in effin Florida.
Being in a long distance relationship almost depresses me more than not being in a relationship at all.
At least that's how I remember it, but then the relationship between Eric and I was...just not good.
I'm getting way ahead of myself, though.
Even though he is a little stud-muffin.

Like Joe. And Kit.

But Justin has a much better smile.

Anyway. I was going to leave you with the picture of me cunt-punting Lauren, but photobucket is being a piece of shit right now, so you'll have to look at it on facebook.
And I wanted to make penis-shaped cookies for Libby for her birthday, but Boozy and I didn't have the time. Seeing as how I thought of it today before I left for rehearsal. Nor did we have resources.

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